You shouldn’t eat mushrooms you find in the forest unless you’re a board-certified mycologist. Or some sort of Wood Elf.
I’m rarely one for moderation, but be careful not to over-pumice your heels.
Do you want ants?!? Because that’s how you get ants!
Don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
My wife thinks I’m too nosy. At least that’s what she keeps scribbling in her diary.
We are all atheists about most of the Gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one God further.
People use whale like a synonym for god damned gigantic!
I’m not grilling you a cheese!
I will not apologize for art.
You don’t eat someone because they don’t have heroin in their ass!
The Shandy. Arch-nemesis of the hangover. Get inside me.
Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts?
When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.
I’ll just regress, because I feel I’ve made myself perfectly redundant.
Le mieux est l’ennemi du bien. Et la vie est un cabaret.
