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That was 90% gravity.

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I am on a ladder. Stop shaking it. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say that.

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Are we talkin’ ‘bout the same guy here? That don’t sound like Jerry at all. Now the Jerry I know, he took me to Merry Christmas…which is a strip club! Merry Triple-X-mas. You see what I’m sayin’? You see what I’m sayin’?

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Two bags….super awesome.

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Too much bondage. Too much bondage. Not enough discipline!

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Nobody makes a fool of our family without my help.

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Nice instincts, son! Good reflexes!

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Chocolate is an antidepressant, which is especially useful as you start to gain weight.

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Save it for the talk room, son.

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Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have some pictures to delete from my computer…

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I don’t even know where I am right now, Your Honor.

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Now….what’s your bean situation?