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Deux Petites Filles, Reposant Sur ​Une Porte, Sans Savoir Que Leur Père Était Presque Attaquée Par Une Créature des Bois de Petits by Alex Millians, O.B.E.

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Écureuil Assis Sur Le Poteau Électrique Dans un Champ de Paillis, Prêts à Attaquer Le Photographer by Alex Millians, A.S.C.

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Working on my driver’s license pose while the kids stare elsewhere. Dear Buddha, is my cranium really that freakishly large?!?

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Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

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I can’t believe she talked me into starting an airline, much less I let her pick out the uniform. Pretty sure we’re going to need to get IFR certified with that hat.

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Steve Sauve and his lovely assistants, a la plage.

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Olivia’s first lost tooth. I’m certainly not looking forward to meeting Dwayne Johnson, I can tell you that.

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In an effort to save the environment, Mary has taken to smearing KY all over the lens, instead of Vaseline. Win win!

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Most people don’t know that in 1971, Mary was recruited by the CIA to infiltrate the KGB. I think the ushanka was a dead giveaway, though.

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Olivia makes her runway debut at the PPP Spring Fashion Show. Hippie chic is the new heroin chic. Good…I think.

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The Millians at The Killing Polo Fields circa November 2010. It’s amazing what you can do in PhotoShop these days, but I still wish they’d add a Just For Men filter. And I’m pretty sure Mary is still working on a time machine to convince her October self that orange is not a good hair color.

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Great…my kid’s turned into Hand Banana.

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Mark my words…this will not end well.

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One of my favorite photos…I *love* that monkey hula dancer!